A Mother's Spiritual Diary

"When the stars shine in the night"

Conchita mentions the effects these divine lights produce in her in the night of her "solitude."

"On writing these so sublime things about the Trinity, I experience in my soul how there springs up in it and in my mind, I do not know whence, the mysteries, the lights and the beauties of this eternal Trinity, which drowns me in Its depths, blinds me with Its splendors, shining like the stars in the darkness of the sky"" (Diary, Dec. 27, 1927).

"At a simple contact of the Most Holy Trinity, God flooded me with dazzling light? What I come to be able to express under Its impulse is like a shadow, but Its vast expanse remains within me" (Diary, Oct. 15, 1935).

The spiritual life is like an ever ascending spiral of shadows and lights. Conchita experiences this marvelous contrast and writes: "I sense in my soul with great clarity mysteries above all that of the Most Holy Trinity. It is as if a veil was lifted before my eyes, as if a most brilliant hearth of light suddenly illumined unfathomable secrets, and there I contemplate most clearly, most profoundly, most minutely, I might say, the abyss of perfections in God.

"All this on the one hand, and on the other pains filled with desolation and inmost sorrows. I love God, but with a love filled with tears. How is it that this should come to pass when I sense Him so near and should be happy?" (Diary, May 20, 1930).

"Why do I undergo at the same time suffering in the midst of light? The Lord instructed me on this mystery: 'Because it is as it was with Me. I underwent on earth light and sadness, love and sadness, joy and sadness'" (Diary, May 27, 1930).

It should not be thought that life in intimacy with the Trinity here below is lived in happiness without shadows, a prelude of heaven.

Genuine holiness is configuration to Jesus who, while being One with the Father, consummated His existence in the abandonment and destitution of the Cross. Love is an oblation, immolation, a service, the giving of life for the redemption of many.

The consummation of the spiritual life is found in the perfect joy of full association to the mystery of the Redemption of the world through the Cross.